Getting My &*#@ Together Series: USE – YOUR – WORDS

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I keep saying this week’s blog post is going to be about routine and its importance, but judging from the sporadic release of these blogs, I don’t think I’m the beacon of hope for sharing my thoughts on the subject. I figured we could just put that off until a later date while I literally get my s__ together –

I told you this is a process.

So this week, I’m focusing on what I have become quite good at over the years:

USING – MY – WORDS!

 

You like a man?

Tell him.

 

Do you feel uncomfortable?

Say it!

 

Feel like you’re being overlooked for that position at work?

Tell them you’re interested.

 

When we learn how to live our truth and then work through the process of putting words to it, we eliminate the guess work.

Relationships: If a man knows you like him, you put the ball in his court on how to move forward. It eliminates the ambiguity about the nature of the relationship by opening a dialogue and letting him know exactly where you stand. What he does with that information is up to him. But you can then listen to his thoughts on the subject, pay attention to his actions, and be able to react accordingly when they do or don’t match up with your clearly stated intentions.

Comfort: It doesn’t matter if you’re at someone’s house and they’re doing some wierdo/creeper sh__ or out in public and someone is doing something you don’t like, make it known that you’re uncomfortable with a situation and move accordingly. Most times, just saying it out loud will put a stop to whatever is going on. When it doesn’t stop, you can then politely gather your things, say goodbye, and give everyone the back of your head. NEVER, EVER allow yourself to stay in a situation that makes you feel uncomfortable, even the slightest bit.

Work: Whether they choose you or not, put your hat in the ring for that position you want. I’ve seen far too many people passed over for jobs I know they would have gotten if they’d just spoken up. So, tell them why you want that job, how you’ll be a good fit, and what you’ll bring to the table. After that, it’s up to them. While this doesn’t guarantee you’ll get the job, you put your desires into the atmosphere. If they decide to go with another candidate, see bullet one “Relationships” and react accordingly.

Find your truth, live your truth, SPEAK your truth, folks.

Until next time, be kind to yourself.

Love and light,

Erin

 

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Getting my &*#@ Together Series: Know Thy Self

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I started blogging a few years ago and would write about a variety of topics, from celebrity bs to my take on love and relationships.

Here I was, doing my best impersonation of an adult, working, going to school, taking care of kids, and I’d lost who I was – or to be more accurate, I never really knew who I was, but got distracted from that fact by all of the responsibilities that adulthood brings.

I found myself slowly losing the motivation to be creative and slowly, but surely, I stopped writing.

But the embers got stoked again recently and I found myself writing, but I also found that is just wasn’t the same as last time.

And that’s when it dawned on me: I finally figured out who I am and that has manifested itself in so many ways, including my content.

So in an effort to live my truth and add some structure to my baby online empire, I’m going to dedicate the next few weeks (or until I run out of things to talk about) to sharing my trials, errors, and triumphs on the road to getting my ___ together.

Please believe me when I say that I’m no expert by any stretch of the imagination, but I can say that I’ve come far and have no problem talking about how I got here.

The day it finally hit me, I was so hyped! I called my mom and screamed into the phone “I found myself!”

And in true mother form, she told me how happy she was for me.

I had meditated, grounded myself, prayed, cut some people off, and set proper boundaries with others … everything everyone tells you needs to happen on your path to finding yourself.

And I felt great; like I was floating on air, dipping and dodging all of the negativity in the world.

A few weeks past and the feeling started to fade. Before I knew it, I felt lost again and I was pissed.

So I did what any self-respecting adult would do … called my mom again.

It was at that point I realized two things:

  1. While I adore my mom, there was nothing she could do to help me. (sorry, ma)
  2. Finding yourself and being at peace with who that person is is not only a personal process, but something that I had to constantly work at every day.

So here I was pissed again.

I did all of this introspective work and I had to do it all again. What I didn’t realize was that finding yourself isn’t like running a race. You don’t get to the finish line, plant your flag in the sand, and breathe a sigh of relief that you’ve finally achieved something. You get to the finish line, plant your flag in the sand, breathe, and keep going because there’s another road ahead.

Nuts and bolts, we change every day, b.

Our thoughts, feelings, experiences, the music we listen to, the people we surround ourselves with, each passing moment, it all shapes us. It’s up to us to determine if we’re going to use these things to help us grow or not. When we fail to acknowledge this, we stop growing and when we stop growing, we lose ourselves.

So I keep at it. I take pictures of things I think are beautiful, have conversations with people with whom I know are going to give me a full belly laugh, sing songs in my car with the volume as high as it can go. I do it all, I feel it all, because it all helps to shape me.

The trick to it is making sure the things around us are feeding us the right “food”.

But more on that next time folks, because I could seriously go on for way longer than you’d like to be staring at this screen.

Until then, be kind to yourself.

Love and light,

Erin

Fuck Neutrogena!

“Nope, Erin, I don’t tan,” my co-worker said, lifting her flowing blue skirt to show me her almost transparent knee. “I could sit outside in the sun all day and all this Irish girl would get is red.”

“You learn something new every day,” I quipped. “I thought everyone got darker in the summer. I turn 10 different shades of brown … makes it a bitch trying to find foundation.”

We laughed.

Life went on.

And then this morning came. I came outside on the deck to get some morning writing done, found my favorite YouTube Video of “The Most Beautiful Movie Soundtracks” and pressed play.

The precursory unsolicited commercial came on (damn you, capitalistic America) and I had a flash back to the conversation I had with my pleasantly pasty colleague – thanks to Neutrogena.

Their bottles of foundation danced on my laptop’s screen as the soft spoken voice sang about how great their product was for the skin. The beautiful model turned her head slightly as the perfect lighting illuminated her blemish-free face. Hell, I was sold. “I need to go buy some of this!” I thought as I prepared to bring up their website. (Damn you again, capitalistic America!)

But when I got there, my hopes and dreams of looking like the model with the perfect complexion vanished as quickly as my fantasy began, because Neutrogena doesn’t carry any foundation darker than the color of Jersey shore sand.

Don’t believe me? Just watch … http://www.neutrogena.com/product/shine+control+liquid+makeup.do?sortby=ourPicks

Watdeehell?!?!?!

I thought this was capitalistic America. Damn, Gena! (Yes, I used a reference from Martin.) If the only color that matters is green, don’t you want me to spend my money too?

According to Essence’s 2009 Smart Beauty research study, black women spend $7.5 billion annually on beauty products, while paying 80 percent more on cosmetics and twice as much on skin care products than the general market.

Sounds like a “win-win” to me.

So I kindly clicked off Neutrogena’s page and went about my writing business – hence this blog post.

But I have to admit, it kind of hurt my feelings. There are all kinds of women in this world, from perfectly pasty to beautifully brown, one would think (or in my case, hold out an apparently unrealistic hope) that a company that claims to make beauty products for women in 2015 would recognize that.

There goes my idealistic tendencies rearing their ugly heads again.

But it’s cool Neutrogena. I see how you get down. I’ll just continue to paint my skin with another company’s product. Just don’t come looking for me when you finally decide to enter into “my market” because the giant middle finger I’m giving you right now will stay firmly planted. That’s right, I said it.

Fuck Neutrogena!

Erin T. McMillon, MSM entered into the publishing industry as an advertising copywriter. She has written for numerous magazines and online media outlets in the U.S. and abroad, including an award-winning music magazine.

Her short story, Writer’s Block was featured in the summer 2014 of The Horror Zine. Erin is also the author of The Becoming of Us, Vol. I: Love and The Becoming of Us, Vol. I: Lust and What’s Hiding in the Dark?: 10 Tales of Urban Lore and They Eat: An Episodic Zombie Thriller.

Find her on Facebook at facebook.com/theladywrites82 and on her blog at http://www.theladywrites82.com.