Three Things a Writer Will Always Do

It’s 5 am, I’m sick as a dog and I’m up writing. Guess you would call this a true labor of love. But I digress, as always. (If you follow my posts, remember I never promised you perfection or any resemblance of normalcy.) So I got on my normal “lost in thought” part of the writing process and came up with the 3 things a writer will always do.

So without further ado …

1. A writer will always think their writing sucks and that no one will want to read it. It doesn’t matter how well-written it is, how well you beat the shit out if writer’s block or if you had the best editor God ever gave the gift of grammar, the self-doubt will always be there.

And this brings me right to number two …

2. I’m a writer, damn it! I’m not an editor! Big difference! So I can still feel somewhat competent when I say THE EDITING PROCESS SUCKS CYCLOPS BALLS! (And I can only assume they would be massive and hairy, and very salty!) I can write 10 short stories in 30 days, but it will take me 3 months to rewrite, edit and perfect.

And last, but not least …

3. A writer will always find inspiration at the most inconvenient time. Mine usually hits me when dropping off the kids at school, sitting on the toilet, or right before I hit “Never Never Land”: the place between sleep and awake. Either way, it’s never in a place where I have a pen and paper handy.

Welp, those are the three things that made my list. I’m off to my second cup of coffee to prepare for another glorious day in corporate America <– please note the heavy sarcasm!

Do you have anything else to add to the list?

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An Apology Letter to My Main Characters

So I decided to write a letter to some of the main characters I created because we’ve been through so much together. And it goes a little something like this …

Dear Main Characters:

I know we’ve been through a Loy over the years, but I’ve been feeling the need to tell you how very sorry I am for what I’ve put you through.

I am sorry for the time I left you in that closet with only a plunger handle for protection while zombies ate your co-workers for three weeks.

That was never my intention, but I’d gotten so busy with work and the kids that I forgot I left you in there.

Then, of course, there was that time when I turned your brother into a werewolf that just so happened to eat your best friend. I swear to you that is not how your story was supposed to end. I was just trying to add some layers to my plot.

Ok, so I know what you’re thinking. I know I haven’t apologized for the worst part yet, but I swear I’m sorry for that too! Yes, I wanted to write about a possessed family pet, but the editor was requesting something really sick and twisted, hence the ending. (But we’re not going to talk about the details of that gross-out feat here.)

The long and short of it is that I’m a big enough person to say I’m sorry. I’m not perfect, but neither are you. But that’s ok with me.

Who wants to hang out with perfect people anyway. They’re boring as hell.

I just want you to understand that sometimes when my creative juices get going it’s hard to stop and even more difficult to try and predict where they’re going to go. Regardless of what happened , I want you to know that I love you.

I am, literary, nothing without you and I hope you can find it within your pages to forgive me.

Sincerely,

Erin T. McMillon
Author of:
“The Becoming of Us, Vol. I”
“The Becoming of Us, Vol. II”
And
“What’s Hiding in the Dark?”

P.S. Just an FYI, you’ll probably be getting run over by a truck or eaten by a horse of zombies soon, but I’ll write another letter for that later.

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